First Night of the Hunger Games!

I could hear the fire crackle through the groans of distant animals. To my knowledge, there was no one within a 100 yard radius of me, since I previously scoped out my camp site for the night. I chose a small clearing within the twines of creepers and underbrush. At this clearing I set up my camp, fire crackling in the middle, equipment off to the side, and a large rock crested in between where I would sleep for the night. I had previously speared a small hog, which was roasting above the fire. My hunger had reached its brim and the sweet smell of the pig’s juices filled the air. I couldn’t help but lick my lips as I slowly took the hog away from the fire and cut a large meaty piece off. It’s soft, warm tenderness was like a pillow to my teeth. I must have been really hungry from the day’s hike; I devoured the entire thing with 10 minutes, like a lion when eating a gazelle. Wiping the delicious grease off my cheek, I settled myself atop the large rock for the night. I was surprisingly calm, not a worry in my mind. These tributes would have to be very resilient if they wanted to stop me from winning these Games. Nothing was going to stop me from fulfilling my destiny.

My eyelids were beginning to become too heavy for me when a bright screen appeared across the sky and woke me from my daze. The faces of 10 fallen tributes appeared, one after another. Dim music played as the ten tributes were recognized, six of which I had given such a fate to. None of them were from my District though, which I suppose was a good thing.  Guilt slowly began to envelope my mind when I remembered the promise I made to my mother, before leaving District 4; No matter what, I would come back home. No matter what it took, I would win the games for my family, and for my District. Even if it meant killing innocent people.  The music dimmed away and there was an odd silence within the forest. So silent I could hear my heart beat against my chest, like a never ending metronome. The silence was broken by the chirping of birds and groan of distant animals. Oddly, I wasn’t startled by this, this feeling of loneliness within the vast jungle. I suppose the thirst for victory was too strong, and so I let my mind drift off on its own, until I found myself engulfed in a deep, deep, sleep.

3 Comments on First Night of the Hunger Games!

  1. 4alyssaf
    May 22, 2014 at 5:19 pm (10 years ago)

    I think that you had great sensory details all throughout your post. One thing is that you mentioned “the groans of distant animals” twice, so it was a bit repetitive. I liked your use of similes and metaphors a lot. Just make sure to read through your passage before you post.

    Reply
  2. 4rachelbrown
    May 22, 2014 at 10:54 pm (10 years ago)

    This was a very good, descriptive, post with great sensory details. I really enjoyed reading it and it kept me very entertained. I like the part about you promising your family that you would win the games and return for them, and your district. This part was emotional and really shows your motivation to continue fighting. I also think you did a good job to zoom in and show what was going on, but you could have done more to describe the setting and the sense of touch. It would have made it easier for the reader if you allowed them to see and feel what you were seeing and feeling. I still liked your description of smell and you also used some really good figurative language. One last thing is that you talk about the “fire crackle” twice, so it is a little repetitive. Other than that, great writing piece!

    Reply
  3. shelby4
    May 23, 2014 at 1:43 am (10 years ago)

    Good job! I have noticed some improvement with your post since the last one. The sensory details were great… some parts surprised me a bit (in a good way) and it made your character come to life. The only thing was that one of your sentences, “I devoured the entire thing with 10 minutes, like a lion when eating a gazelle.” was a bit choppy and the ‘when’ didn’t really fit in and you can just exclude it. Another minor thing that I noticed was that if you make a fire, wouldn’t other tributes see it and try to hunt you down (especially at night) Just a thought for next time… some of your phrases were also repeated a few times, so maybe try to incorporate some new details/figurative language to spice it up. Otherwise that, you did a very nice job!

    Reply

Leave a Reply