May
2014
The Mockingjay Sings
Silence has always been present in my house, but this silence is different; it’s deadly silence. I have been resting in my shelter, awaiting the sound of death; a cannon. If a cannon sounds, then there is a tribute out there still killing. All morning, nothing. All afternoon, nothing. All night nothing. Where is everybody? I need to know. Do I continue to slaughter? Do I try and find a hovercraft to take me home? Think, what do victors usually do when they win. Overcome by my own thoughts, I decide to lie down and clear my mind.
I wake up several hours later in a daze. Confused as to what just happen, I remember that I may be the last one alive. Overcome by joy, I leap up from my mat of vines and begin to jump from joy. I am the Winner of the 80th Hunger Games! Joy oh Joy! My Mother will be so proud of me. I promised her before I came out to these Games that I would do anything in my power to come back to her. I finally fulfilled that promise. Everyone in District 4 will be so glad to see that I am the victor of the 80th Hunger Games. All my friends will be so glad. I cannot wait to go back home to my loved ones! I AM the victor right? Shouldn’t there be some sort of hovercraft to take me out by now? Taking me back to the warm arms of my Mother, the place I call home. District 4, where I have trained so long and hard for this moment. I wait and wait, but still nothing. Panic begins to take me over again and I realize that I may NOT be the lone survivor, maybe there is still one more person out there. I am so sure that I heard all 26 canons. The only one left to be heard is mine, but there isn’t anyone here to give me that fate. I start to think maybe I miscounted the canons. If there is still someone out there keeping me from finally getting out of this nightmare then I am going to find them. No matter what. With determination in my eyes, I leap of the ground and cross the beach in search of the last weasel left.
4joshe
May 30, 2014 at 1:12 pm (10 years ago)Good passage, (despite the fact that it was made in 10 whole minutes, haha) and I really liked the attention getter! The only thing I would change is that in the second paragraph you used joy about six times, “Overcome by joy, I leap up from my mat of vines and begin to jump from joy.” Three just in that sentence.
brad4
June 2, 2014 at 1:17 am (10 years ago)pretty good writing piece. I just didnt feel like you conveyed alot of emotion or sensory details. The plot was a little weak cause you just counted the cannon shots but other then that not bad. Try using better word choices. Last sentence was pretty classy though about the weasel.